Conducted by Lasse Marhaug: 2011
How
many times have you broken bones in your body? What were they? How did it
happen?
It's
a funny coincidence you ask this because just now I am going through medical
physical therapy for back and neck pain due to breaking both my shoulders from
bicycle and skateboard accidents in the past. How many bones have I broken?
Well both my wrists and shoulders. All from nasty falls on concrete from high
speed downhill sports. I have had a lot of accidents……really nasty falls and
most of them I walked or crawled away very lucky. I do shudder often how many
times I was supposed to die from my crazy high speed sport activities. I still
skateboard and bicycle but I'm rather timid and slower these days. Honestly the
whole "extreme sports" days are behind me. If anything "extreme
hiking" is more my style and no…it's not that extreme either. But I do
have a bit of post traumatic images in my head from falling hard. The rushing
of concrete violence still hits me occasionally. I really hate to break anymore
bones. Just last week I saw a young man eat the street hard on his long
skateboard and he knocked himself out cold. He wasn't wearing a helmet so he
got a concussion and blood was splattered all over his face. I used to be just
like him and maybe a bit crazier…..it still was a disturbing sight for me and I
have seen several of these accidents in the past. He recovered ok mainly
because he was young but head injuries are truly the scariest. These days I go
slow and smooth down hills and yeah….always wear a helmet where as in the past
I didn't and I was lucky…..but also dumb too. In 2005 I whipped out hard on my
long skateboard and broke my left wrist and my right shoulder. HORRIBLE pain!
And I am still feeling the after effects from that fall. I had two arms broken
with a casts and slings. It just sucked really hard for about two months. Also
I hated the pain medication so I didn't really take any. I'm sure they would of
helped me but I hate the effect narcotics feel to me. I mean I hate drugs
period so I have never taken any drugs in my life, not even a puff of weed nor
any cigarettes! TRUE FUCKING FACT! I say this because even tho I am clean drug
free person I still abuse my body with physical sports stuff. I mean pain is
pain so who's crazier? Some druggie or cigarette addict or someone flying down
a hill on a skateboard pushing 50 mph in which is what I used to do. As humans
we all find silly ways to abuse ourselves.
Speaking
of bones and the sound of them. Just recently I was recording large empty rooms
at a abandoned high school. Large cavernous rooms with excellent acoustics of
the vents and air blowing through them. I wanted the purest and cleanest
recordings of these rooms. I was walking around with my digital recorder and
being as quiet as I could complete with wearing the softest sneakers. But there
were these rather loud but subtle cracking noises going on with my ankles. The
cracking was so loud but it was bouncing off the walls echoing & reverbing
in these large empty rooms. I had to stop and decide to myself…..should I
record stationary so that my cracking ankles don't intrude with these pure
recordings? The walking around with the live recorder is the best way to get
some life out of recording but my ankles just could not stop cracking loudly.
Well I thought…hmmmm…..fuck it……keep recording with cracking bones in these old
dark rooms and maybe no one will notice…or care. It'll be more
"personal" recording I guess. So I continued recording and yeah they
sound pretty cool and strange. Yet it was rather shocking to me that my bones
are LOUD now at my age! My cracking ankles are from 30 plus years of
skateboarding or I guess whatever I have been doing to my feet. I'm 41 now and
it's a odd realization that my body it crunching up. I'm still in top health
but it's true my body is telling me to mellow out a bit on the physical sports
abuse. I sure wish I had my 18 year old skeleton again!
Hiking is also likely to cause less injury I
guess?
Is
the Portland
area a good place to go hiking? Do you go back to same places, or explore new
ones? Do you go for long walks? Do you sleep out in nature?
Yes
less injury is true with hiking but ya know…....I'm in my 40s now and I have
done a good deal of damage already. So hiking is more my style now days.
Understand with the whole trail running thing that you have to keep your eyes
on the trail all the time so you don't stumble and fall off the trail, so you
can miss out on a lot of nature scenery. I hear this a lot from my friends who
motorcycle and they have to where tight helmets and keep their eyes on the road
constantly so they never really enjoy nature and the mountains that much. Sorta
funny to think about that....staring at the road all the time while the most
majestic views can be seen. Rather ironic.
Here
in the Northwest there is an infinite amount of hiking one can explore. It
really is never ending it seems on what to explore next. Sure I do revisit many
places and I have my faves but really it's what's unexplored that is most
exciting. The wildernesses here are so massive and gigantic that it is truly
scary to get lost within them….and every year several people do die a nasty
death out in the wild. It's mostly tourists or folks who never have hiked
before and get all nature loving….but you know as much as I know that nature
will NOT love you back. Have you seen that dreadfully pathetic movie "Into
the Wild".....that same story happens all the freaking time! Or better yet
is the superb movie "Grizzly Man" in which that is just too
profoundly funny. It's one of my all time favorite movies. Of course common
sense and above all RESPECT for nature that is the best way to explore the wild
nature. So it's a exciting area of the earth here in the Northwest for hiking
and exploring for sure. I do sleep occasionally out in the wild in the Summer
months. The stars are so amazing and vivid at night and the deer and elk are
walking all around. One time while sleeping some deer were walking all around
and over me. I was totally motionless but it was freaky. I mean the feet were
inches from my face. Just slowly stepping around and over. Strange experience
indeed. I tell you….Hiking here in the Northwest is really the best aspect of
living here. It's just what's it's all about when it comes to living here in
just in general. I mean the city is ok I guess but really it's all about the
vast nature to explore around. It's a bit criminal to ignore all this beauty
all around ya know. So yeah hiking is very very very mandatory indeed for me.
When Darkthrone came out with that song "Hiking Metal Punks"……..that
hit the nail dead on. Hell of a great song!
When I played in Eugene the organizers told me that you played
there two days after you'd taken off your casts in 2005. They said that during
the gig you banged your fists so hard against the concrete floor that they were
afraid you'd fracture your bones again. Do you remember this?
The
true story is a bit more ickier. I broke my wrist in 2005 and That day my wrist
was healing up from surgery where they placed a titanium plate inside and there
was a long gnarly surgery slice still there on my wrist trying to heal up,
about 4 inches I guess. Well they did take out the stitches about two weeks
earlier but that day while in Eugene I noticed under that bandage there
was a stitch that they forgot to take out. Nothing to overly panic over but
this stitch was hugely knotted and embedded in my flesh. It had to get removed
promptly. So about two hours before my gig I went to a grocery and bought some
medical alcohol and tiny scissors and in the parking lot I did my own surgery
trying to pull this nasty stitch out. Painful…...yes and very gross to look at
and it took me about 45 minutes to get it out. Folks walking by were puzzled
and freaked at what I was doing to myself. Because you see…..this stitch just
wouldn't want to leave. I was pulling and pulling and slicing in my wrist and
still it was being stubborn. I was very angry that the nurse forgot to remove
this stitch so I was cursing and bleeding at my wrist until finally it pulled
out. I went to the gig and did my performance with my wounded hand behind my
back. So I guess folks were freaked and tricked that actually my good arm was
performing so that's funny that that rumor occurred. At that time I made an
album cover for a double CD retrospective called "Scattered Remains"
of all my old 90s rarities and such and I placed my stitched up wrist on the
scanner and that was the artwork. I still have a long scar and unfortunately
folks think I tried to kill myself……but not really. It's just a surgery scar.
Have
you ever hurt yourself during a gig?
Earlier
days I hurt myself all the time with bruises and such. It was common occurrence
but really not so common these days. I think the spectacle crazy concerts
became more notorious than the music but I really don't have that much of any
regrets. It was exciting-intense performance that put folks in a
"worried" position for my well being. I think honestly that my work
can be much more powerful on it's own without my self making my body abuse the main
attention. These days I perform more subtle physical concerts and also video
concerts and I think the music is much more powerful than ever. Honestly I am
trying to do more of the video performances and so far folks think those are
vastly more intense than any of my physical performances. The physical stuff
used to be a bit crazy in the early days. Honestly the crazier the physical
concerts the worst the sound so that would confuse people a bit from them hearing
my recordings. Maybe that was a good balance because I like crappy-ugly sound
and good clean sound. I believe in a time and place for everything and sometime
ugly-bloody-sweaty is the goal but certainly not all the time. So I try not to
go towards route because I've "beaten" that concept in a bit…….pun
intended. A funny story occurred in Szczecin,
Poland 2006 at
a festival in a actual slaughterhouse. Well it's not a operating slaughterhouse
anymore but it was good place to perform regardless. I was doing some sort of
wild and crazy physical set with my amplified metal stick and I smacked my
upper lip and gums with it. Blood starting splattering on the killing floor! My
teeth got all bloodied and everything got a bit crazy after that. Incredibly
lucky that I didn't bust out my front teeth. Honestly it was not one of my best
concerts, terrible noise and sound and a sort of a mess and a rather confused
and shocked Polish audience. But I guess folks liked it because I was sweaty
bloody mess. I was sorta embarrassed because I sorta lost my mind and went for
the blood and noise show, trading in a spectacle instead of a concert but oh
well. It was a time and a place so no regrets but it all made sense in that
Polish slaughterhouse back in 2006.
Have
you always been a physically active person? I know that as a kid you did
juggling, and skateboarding? What else? Are you a runner? Did you ever run a
race?
As
a kid I was really shy and super quiet. I skateboarded a bit in the 70s on
those little suicide sticks. Then in 1980 I discovered juggling and I became
obsessed beyond anything to be the best juggler ever. I practice for hours upon
hours a day all alone and taught myself how to perform. Then I started to
juggle on the streets for tip money and made some pretty good dough considering
my age and time frame. Then I juggled all over the city in shopping malls,
libraries, children's theaters, birthday parties….you name it and I juggled at
them. I even got hired to juggle at McDonalds occasionally! Now that was weird!
There's a famous kids TV show I was on called Bumpity that can be seen on
Youtube and that has shocked more people about me than anything my music could
shock. I juggled so much that I developed extremely thick calluses on my hands.
So thick that I would show off at school mates by jamming sharp metal xacto
blades in them and hang my hands upside down with the blades falling out nor
any blood. That was all from 80 -85 and then I discovered hardcore punk and
skateboarding and that was it….no more juggling and total obsession in extreme
punk/metal and non stop skateboarding. I always hated sports because of that
thing called "rules" ya know. So anything that had to do with chaos
and intensity was all that I wanted. I loved the insane punk-metal shows and I
would really smash up my body at those shows. So yeah as a teen I was ultra
hyper energetic but only in the truest sense of teenage chaos. Never took a
drug and never really got drunk much at all, actually hated alcohol when I was
young because I wouldn't be in control of my body. Funny to say that but I mean
is that I lusted for chaos but I wanted to control it. So that trailed to my
music making later on. But this is all pathological junk I'm sure no one would
care about.
Running
was something I was really into a few years ago. Mainly trail running deep in
the woods. I gotta get back into that because I really loved trail running yet
I did injure myself a lot. I was doing it bare foot occasionally which was
exciting but also sometimes horrible. I would tear up my feet bad and get stuck
deep in a forest and would try to get out wearing absolutely nothing but a pair
of shorts. No shirt-no shoes and yeah…..occasional catastrophe. From 2004-2008
I was really into trail running and always fascinated by the concept of
animality. I wanted music to over intensify the body in an animalistic manner.
So I recorded several drum albums that were entirely inspired from trail
running. All the rhythms correspond to the pace of feet hitting the trail and
such. I mean I wanted sic to be so intense that bones would break or I would
rip out trees with my bare hands. Crazy shit type of stuff. Seems to me that
music originated from early humans replicating animals running through rhythmic
sound and noise from animals screaming. We are of course animals so to break
down the music into pure primal onslaught was what I was fascinated by. It was
just a phase but thinking about it now…..I did stop running when I stopped
making drum albums. Maybe I made my point enough? Since then I am very much
into hiking and that I do a lot of. I don't really run but I do hike very
steady and far. I guess I'm getting a whole different inspiration now days. I'm
making video work now created and inspired by my hiking adventures. And of
course my photography in which I snap waaaaaay too many photos of the great
mother nature. Hiking is such a classic that I am sure I will be doing that for
the rest of my life.
animality
1. the state of being an animal.
2. animal existence or nature in human activity; the animal in
man as opposed to the spiritual.
Well here in Norway Fenriz
of Darkthrone is now just as known for his love of nature as his metal. Do you
listen to music when you hike, or do you prefer the sound of the forest? Do you
always bring your dog on you walks?
Oh
no I never listen to music while hiking. When I am outdoors in general I don't
want any music around. Not even in the gym while lifting weights or anything
like that. Not only do I prefer the sound of nature but more so the sound of
the wind in my ears or the heart beating in my chest. Well just the natural
sounds and that includes silence in which I treasure greatly. Sure I used to
listen to music a long time ago while running-biking-gym stuff but that had to
go because it was too much of an abstraction to my thoughts. I realized that
thoughts/ideas/realizations come faster and more powerful when in deep exercise
and in silence. Just a simple walk alone at night without any music will get
you the most profound ideas and thoughts. That "aha" moments come
more frequent. (no not the band Aha….) But it's true that so many of my ideas
for music and such come from long exercises in nature and such. This has been
true for me for many long years. I read the fantastic book "Herzog on
Herzog" and he mentioned his love for long hikes in the mountains and how
profound ideas will come to him. That was interesting to read that because I
was on that tip already. So I really do not advocate listing to music as much
as people would normally would. It seems to me that the portable music devices
came into popularity because folks just hate dealing with other folks. Of
course that's why you will see most people with headphones on in the subway…..I
would too. Misanthropy clearly has a strong part in portable music device
sales. But I avoid all public transportation or most other daily public norms
so I really do not need anything pumped into my ears. Then there's driving and
I do actually enjoy listening to nice music while driving in the mountains and
forest to get to hiking trails. The PERFECT album for me to listen to while
driving in the mountains is ULVER's "Kveldsfanger". After parking
it's hours of silence for the long hikes. But after I'm done I feel so
enlighten by the quiet sounds all around….and some loud ones such as loud
waterfalls in which here in the Northwest can be very loud. I do hike to large
waterfalls all the time and of course record them for sound sources such as
Kataract. Note that I record them…..not actually hear the recordings till much
later. But any ways I do feel like it's a bit of a natural crime to avoid such
rich sounds in the forests by electronic music devices.
It's
true that in 2005 I was very much into intense trail forest running and I did
think one day about the idea of making dangerous music to run to. So I came up
with a style of percussion work that was mainly inspired from running and to
make it as intensely animalistic as possible. Rhythms that represent running
legs from animals or humans. Just massive animal sounding drums and it's true I
did listen to my own demos while forest running and even barefoot and the first
few demo mixes were at a speed I could run with…..and that wasn't enough. So
then I did more mixes of intensity and finally I got a mix that just killed me
on the trails. I felt like ripping out trees like a monster. Sorta anti-dance
music but more of a violent animal music. At a point I felt I finally created
drum music that does indeed over power my body and potentially could crack some
of my bones I felt it was finished. The frost recording was a double CD called
"Concussions" and then "Beast Resonator" and then there was
a few more. But those two recording in particular were fully inspired by forest
running barefoot until my body would break. I don't know how anyone could
listen to those records sitting down……but I'm a bit fond of those drum records
I did because it shines a light on a rather wild time in my life. I mean this
drone music tends to make people sit on their asses and get fat so doing this
rhythmic drum recordings was my protest to all that agnostic drone crap. I
really feel that music should be as instinctual as possible in which that
translates to being as animalistic as possible. Music has to scare the sacred
somehow.
And
yes my little doggy ARROW is only 6 pounds heavy but he's very very muscular!
He's a chihuahua and loves running with me while I am hiking. Tiny little
creature yes…..but far more powerful than anyone could imagine. Sometimes I
don't bring him because of laws against dogs on the trails and that is very
very very understandable law because after all there are delicate wildlife that
should not be interfered by dogs. Those places are actually the most beautiful
with wildlife. ARROW will chase squirrels and such and I always worry a coyote
or a raccoon will get him in a fight because he will loose that battle. There's
gigantic owls and eagles here they can fly above in circles looking for food
and I know they are looking at my doggy with salivating desire to swoop down
and grab him for dinner. There has been times I gotta hold him for his own
protection. I'm sure a day will come that a bear will appear and Arrow will
scare one away and save my life. He does have a rather nasty bark.
What made you get
a chihuahua in the first place? Most people would guess Daniel Menche
would get a big dog that would keep up with his running and skateboarding, not
a small dog.
Well
this little chihuahua came to me in 2007 in the form of a tiny little fur
biscuit. Just 7 months old and he fitted right in my single palm of my hand.
Arrow is now 4 years old and a mighty little nature warrior. (He's sleeping on
my lap as I type this…..he just farted….gross) Arrow is only 6 pounds heavy and
his poops are tiny so he's really easy to deal with. A friend of mine called me
a cross between Paris Hilton and Jack London whenever I am with Arrow. My
little "Call of the Wild" that can fit in my side purse. I prefer to
think of myself and Arrow in regards to the movie "There will be
blood" with the little boy and the oil baron. "BASTARD IN A
BASKET!" But it's funny you should mention this because I know a few
people with massive gigantic dogs. Usually German Shepard and I have no idea
how anyone can cope with a massive dog especially all those massive loads of
turds. Funnier is folks who are oh so evil-metal that have these massive dogs
and walk around with leather trench-coats as tho there some nazi twits. I mean
what a comedically pathetic stereotype! Not sure why but folks who do not know
me think I am some ultra serious-dark-somber guy and really I'm just a goofball
with a tiny dog. I also have a house with a massive garden and enjoy collecting
exotic bamboo and Japanese maples. My house is ultra colorful and fully lush
with plants and trees. Some people have visited my house and they see this
lovely garden and a little Chihuahua
playing around and they're shocked. All to often they picture me living in a
dark-depressing place with loads of your typical bummer-culture stuff collected
all around. Well not me! I have more in common with Martha Stewart than say
Anton Levay….....or whatever. But yeah I do get a kick out of destroying
stereotypes. Here in Portland one can see Jerry A (singer of Poison Idea)
walking his chihuahuas and that guy has quit the reputation but really he's all
fluff and loves a cute doggy as much as a little child. But yeah Arrow is
defiantly my numro uno buddy and I take him just about everywhere. He has had
more adventures than most people I know.
Your current job as a
librarian is well documented on your blog, but before this you worked as
a demolition worker? You were a one-man demolition crew? What kind of jobs
would you do? How did you like this job?
Well
for three years I was struggling a bit on my career and jobs. Portland Oregon
is notorious for an extremely low job market and in 2006-2009 it was very very
very difficult to find work. So I scrapped really hard to find any work I
could. Grunt work and such and mainly working on houses to fix them up to
resell and or to demolition work. Sometimes my job would be to clean out a
house that was partially burnt from a nasty house fire and then re-fix it up to
resell it, Those were the worst dirtiest jobs. Really brutal work I tell ya!
And when there were times of desperation I would simply place an ad in
Craigslist for junk hauling and I would get work that way since I owned a
beat-up truck. Easy work really because I would drive up to someones house and
I would haul off a heaping pile of garbage to the "dump" and that
would save my ass to pay for my house payments and food. I would bring my
little doggie Arrow with me and he would break hearts of the customers and they
would pay more because they would know I was a good honest soul who is trying
to survive since most junk haulers are sketchy druggies and some sort of fishy
thieves trying to score a burglary opportunity. Any ways......American dumps
are fascinating places to go. It's the final line for "stuff" to go
and die into this massive incinerator. These dumps here in America are so
huge that one could almost call them a city in themselves! HUGE mountains of
junk and the most amazing odors coming out of them ( My doggie Arrow
loooooooooves the dump odors!). To really truly get a good idea of good ol
American consumerism then going to the dump is the place! It's TOTAL madness
the materialistic crap that gets thrown out. It's a incredible place and I
would make up to 2 to 5 trips a day and if lucky I would make $50 per
trip.....if I was lucky that is. The more people had stuff to throw out them
the more money I could get. I hate "stuff" ya know and I do what I
can to live as minimal as possible. As empty of rooms and as possible. and if
anything my house is cluttered with an over abundance of trees and plants and
such because that's a "good" clutter because it's all living but with
materialistic stuff it's just an absurdity to own a bunch of "stuff".
These days I only wish to spend money on food because I know I will poop that
out and never see it again. Even owning a bunch of books and CDs is a bit
annoying to myself and yes I do have a bunch but I'm getting that removed out
of my life myself. Anyways the whole experience of working as an person who
removes and destroys other people stuff has influenced me to not tolerate much
stuff myself. I want to die with the least amount of stuff.....maybe NO STUFF!!
Then with the house demo thing I was fixing up old houses that were rather
junky and get them spiffed up to resale for much more. I had to chase and kill
all the rats and remove all the toxic asbestos crap and especially house mold
(very bad!). Occasionally I did have to destroy a barn or garage or a large
chunk of a house and basically destroy as much crap as possible with a
sledgehammer for a whole day....FUN!!!! That was interesting work because I was
working with other desperate jobless souls such as Latinos who were new to America and
fellow desperate artists who just weren't having the best of luck.....just like
myself! Fortunately my big break from all that dirty work changed when I got a
job position as a school librarian and that changed my life completely. It's
really funny to think about all the ridiculous odd jobs I have had. From
working at a slaughterhouse when 16 years old to presently where I am reading
out loud the tiny children in a school library. My occupations have really
painted my life up into some funny experiences. I always found this old saying
rather funny and amusing "If you want to make the gods laugh just tell
them your plans". Funny one liner indeed and just about the story of my
life!
